Chester drew criticism this weekend after failing to beat Chasetown in what had promised to be a walk in the park.
The 1-1 draw was particularly galling, given Chasetown's recent run of form. Before Saturday, The Scholars hadn't so much as scored a goal in the Evo Stik Northern Premier this year - an achievement matched by, amongst others, Vicars Cross Under 13s, The Chester Chronicle 5-a-side team/menagerie, the 1954 Plymouth Argyle squad, Harry Potter's Quidditch team, the cast of Friends, the RSPB, Elton Welsby, a tree and those two Jack Russells that were being walked around Grosvenor Park earlier today. As such, it shouldn't really have been a tricky game.
The day started with CFU media lightning-rod Judge Philip Banks accusing The Jestrian of being obsessed with the ongoing issues regarding the Blues Player.
In response, the Royal Institute of Trivial and Probably Inaccurate Statistics pointed out that subjects that have been mentioned more often on the Jestrian include Michael Powell's quiff, Michael Powell's yellow cards and Michael Powell as well as Christian Smith being overly laid back, A Tall Peacock, A Prowling Shark (and his flowing hair), The Deva Chat, Matty McNeil being both old and a postman, The Dark Owl's almost questionable affection for both Blacon and Northern Soul, Elton Welsby, Neil Young's insistence on talking for hours and the overuse of stupidly long lists for comic effect.
"In many ways, there's far more that we could have written about the board's biggest gaff to date," muttered The Jestrian.
The Chasetown encounter kicked off at the usual time, and within ten minutes, most were wishing it hadn't. It was a terribly dull affair and literally nobody remembers anything that happened in the first half, besides the part where Blues captain George Horan got his nose shattered.
"It's a good job that happened in many ways," said CFC fan Gilly Firewarden. "Otherwise, I'd be convinced that there wasn't a first half at all."
Antoni Sarcevic definitely scored a goal early in the second period, a fine finish which briefly piqued the interest of the small gathering of supporters who'd bothered to show up. Unfortunately, Chasetown net guardian Ryan Price also perked up at this point, and made a string of impressive saves. With John Danby out of action, last season's logic was back in force, with fans suggesting Young should sign a keeper who's had a good game against us, even though that's how we came to sign Adam Judge, who was standing at the other end.
For a game that had been so miserably boring, the last ten minutes were as incongruous as a moose on a stag party. First, Matty McGinn missed a penalty, then Chasetown scored their first goal since the war, Jerome Wright had a goal ruled out for being too onside, Chris Simm missed a sitter and Michael Taylor scored an own goal which was stricken from the record as it was a bit embarrassing and the ref was feeling generous.
In his post-match interview, Neil Young had a moan about the match officials. But to be fair, that sentence could go on the end of any match report since Chester FC reformed and it would still be true.