Monday, 13 February 2012

Chester FC 2-0 Stafford Rangers - Match Evaluation

Chester strengthened their grip on the top of the table on Saturday, by virtue of being the only Evo Stik club to manage to get a game on.

Thanks to the reluctantly-deployed covers, the pitch passed inspection, and ensured that Stafford Rangers hadn't had a wasted trip.  In spite of this, many of those connected with Rangers took it upon themselves to brand CFC "unwelcoming", with one Stafford FM representative tweeting that the press area was particularly unpleasant.

"There was a Tall Peacock in there, spreading its tail all over the place.  No room for the rest of us," moaned the Stafford FM guy.

In spite of these complaints however, Stafford FM were on hand to bail out absent Chester fans, as the previously free and functional Blues Live failed to work, despite promises it would be improved once the club began to charge for the service.

"The Blue$ Player is the price we have to pay for being allowed to have a website which is 90% adverts, where you can't find anything," explained media-lackey Jiff Bricks.

"It's so important to have such a website, apparently, that it's worth alienating those who can't attend every game.  Sure, when free, things like Blues Live and NATV allowed 'exiled' fans to still feel like they were part of the club, which can only be profitable moving forwards, but it's much quicker to get money by having adverts for Cannonball by Little Mix obstructing your hunt for the league table on the club website.  What do you mean, ‘that flies in the face of the idea of a community club’?"

The match itself was short on incident.  Chester were a rampant, but only took the lead in the second period when Scary Alex Brown frightened the ball into the net via a deflection.  The lead was doubled shortly after when Christian Smith nodded home from a Matty McGinn corner, after the goalkeeper had turned a shot round the post using his legs, like you often see a lacking-in-confidence Sunday League keeper do.

With the score at 2-0, Chester's season took a turn for the worst, as John Danby, a man as inexplicably unpopular with certain sections of Blues support as Neil Young, had his little finger obliterated by a challenge from an over-zealous Stafford striker.

"You should have seen the X-Ray," said the multi-record-breaking Danby.  "It looked like a tube full of cous-cous."

Michael Powell was allowed to return for five minutes at the end, as Neil Young attempted to show Stafford, who were bottom of the fair play league for January, what a genuinely dirty player looks like.  However, Powell failed to pick up his customary yellow, and will be unusually available for Chester’s next game.

Manager Young was delighted with the win and revealed that the secret to eventually making the breakthrough lay in his half-time instructions that the team should keep giving the ball wide.  Leader stalwart Tennis Ball took this chance to remind the Blues Boss that after the last home game, he had commented that Chester shouldn't play with wingers and Young responded by coughing, muttering that he and the missus had dinner reservations, then hurrying off down the tunnel before any further questions could be put to him.

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