Tuesday, 21 February 2012

I'm on board, I'm not bored

Chester FC today unveiled the co-opting of two new board members who will occupy the position previously held by Steve "strength of two men" Ashton.

Despite rumours that this happened last week, The Jestrian insists that the announcement only took place today, confirming that by no means did they forget to write about it in all the commotion last week.

The two new men who have joined the board are Council Official Neil O'Noel and some other guy.

O'Noel works for Cheshire West and Chester Council as Head of Service in Facilities and Assets, which seems less like a genuine job every time you read it.  He will provide a direct link to the council.

The other guy is someone else.  He'll be Director of Football.

"We felt that we needed to replace Steve Ashton as Youngy has started getting a bit reckless in the transfer market again," said Blues Chairman, The Pilsbury Dough Beard.

"It'll be the job of the Director of Football to sit on the gaffer if he threatens to sign another left winger or brings another player in for a game then forgets all about him."

Meanwhile, scouse comedian Alan Tarbuck has been co-opted again as the representative of the Former Players Association, whose membership includes Grenville Millington, Gary Talbot and nobody else.

Also new on the board is a man who was actually elected, rather than getting in by virtue of being a mate of someone already in power.  Bust Fuse sat in on his first CFC Board Meeting in the last few days, but no-one expects him to do anything interesting, really.

"There's about four hundred people working at the club these days, but people still reckon Jaffa Cakes and The Dark Owl do everything," said CEO Pet Husky.

On an international scale, there are now so many unelected members on the board that even Robert Mugabe has raised an eyebrow.

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