It emerged yesterday that for his self-defined expert advice, Southall will be charging the more gullible and easily pleased members of society (aka. Everton fans) £50 per email and £99 for a one hour phonecall - an idea which certain CFC followers have described as "genius".
"I'd well pay £99 for a phonecall off Iain Howard," glowed East Stand regular Jane Earrings, overlooking the fact that for that price, she could probably get him to regrout the tiles on her kitchen floor.
Elsewhere, C Block chant-swerver Gary Blowtorch has pointed out the potential benefits to the club.
"It's all money in the coffers isn't it? Even better, the club could get the players to provide the service voluntarily, then charge the fans for it. You know, like they did with the Blue$ Player," he theorises.
"Wait til Twitter hears about me getting an email off Nev!" exclaimed The Suited Director, which is, coincidentally, expected to be the name of the next batch of Spitting Feathers.