North Ferriby United vs Chester FC - Match Swelter

Chester travel to North Ferriby tonight for a game in which it is expected that a number of players and fans will melt.

The good weather and Chester's sparkling form have transformed the usually repellant Hull area into an attractive Tuesday night destination for many Cestrians, who will prove to the Chester Exiles that you can make a midweek game which is miles away if you care enough.

Due to the climate, Neil Young - for the first time since the formation of Chester FC - will not wear a puffer jacket on the same day that CFU Media Gyroscope Jaffa Cakes dispenses with his tradtional suit.

"It's usually one or both," confirmed club historian Jazz Piano, going on to issue a warning.

"This is the first time that it has been neither has worn their garment of choice.  It's like when the moon and sun align.  You won't be able to look at them both directly, or you'll go blind."

Young is aware that today's game will be tough, mostly because it has reminded fans of the 6-0 home victory against Ferriby in which Bradley Barnes scored a goal.

"Oh, for goodness' sake, they'd just about forgotten about Bradley.  Thanks a lot," raged Young, when reminded of this.

Michael Wilde and Neil Young were both sent off against Matlock on Saturday, but will not serve their suspensions just yet.

"Misjudged it, didn't I?" coughed Wilde.  "I was hoping to swerve this one.  Midweek trek to Hull?  No ta."

North Ferriby are led by manager Billy Heath, whilst their chairman is called Les Hare.  Neil Young, who has Les Hare than most, is not underestimating his opponents.

"We might have splatted them twice already  this season, but you've still gotta act like you reckon you can lose.  It's just good etiquette," said the manager.

United have only lost once in their last six matches, however, though this is a statistic which does nothing to endear them to certain, prouder Chester fans.

"They call themselves the Villagers, for goodness' sake," moaned C Block mute Jerry Holepunch.  "Do you remember when we used to play against cities?  Now this?  A village?  We played a shipyard last year and all.  Call me when we're back in the league."

Tonight's game is the seventh in succession identified by Chester fans as the game which, if won, will all but guarantee them the title.