Monday, 16 April 2012

Mickleover Sports 1-3 Chester FC - Superfluous Match Report

Chester overcame Mickleover Sports on Saturday, continuing their already-completed quest to take the Evo Stik Northern Premier League title.

Unhappy with having taken 25 points from the last 27 available, manager Neil Young furiously opted for a change in formation, commenting to reporters before the game that "we're seriously going to have to up our performances if we want to win the league."

The system change saw Young field three strikers, a move so out of character that his assistant Gary Jones took measures to ensure that the Blues boss hadn't been cunningly replaced by dastardly twin brother Ralph.
"He's a right rascal, Ralph Young," said Jones.  "Once he turned up at Merseyrail and gave the order for all services through Green Bank to be cancelled.  Mayhem, it caused."

"But I asked Neil a question that only he would know the answer to – like they do in the movies - and he got it right, so it must have been him.”

Chris Simm got scoring underway for the Blues early in the first half.  The assist came from a blatant Matty McGinn cross, but this was missed by now-slacking journalist The Tall Peacock, who spent the next ten minutes filling Twitter news feeds with desperate pleas for information.

"I was eating my packed lunch when it happened," admitted the Chronicle scribbler.  "Mrs Peacock put in some tasty chicken kievs, and those things demand your full attention."

With Mickleover deperately needing a victory to steer them clear of relegation, Robbie Booth showed no sentimentality as he swept home Chester's second around the seventy minute mark.

"I am ruthless!" he was heard to maliciously cackle.

Mickleover gave themselves some hope of a result when Karl Ashton halved Chester's lead, slotting in from close quarters. However, as the Sports players gathered round in a huddle and chatted excitedly about how they could maybe still snatch a draw, Chester restarted, and Iain Howard strolled into the area unchallenged to  restore the Blues' two goal advantage.

Neil Young admitted that he was "chuffed, mate" with the win, but despite his team having secured the championship, the Chester manager refuses to stop playing mind games.

"I think the pressure is all on Northwich," mused Young post-match.  "They're on a good run, and we've got some players out, so they have to be favourites for the title.  We'll keep trying to churn out results and we'll hope for the best but I really can't see anyone catching the Vics on current form."

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