Chester FC 4-0 Guiseley AFC - Match Actual

Chester crushed Guiseley AFC 4-0 on Saturday, in a game which called into question whether the visitors had really won all of their first six games.

The Blues won the game, whilst Ben Mills scored some goals, which has basically been the case in every game so far.

"Nothing like a bit of variety to help out those of us trying to come up with fresh material every day, is there?" grumbled a sulky Jestrian.

John Danby made a return to action, following an eye injury and was able to ease himself back by without using his eyes, as Guiseley allowed him to ball up in the corner of his net and have a nap.

Meanwhile, Mills was continuing his ridiculous form, bashing home one from close range before punting one straight at Lions keeper Steve Drench, who rather comically let the ball spin out of his grasp and into the net.  It was neither Drench's first nor last hairy moment of the game, but he was still awarded Guiseley's Man of the Match by the sponsors, who presumably drank their lunch.

New boy Scott Brown made a good impression for the Seals, showing his excellent reading of the game by twice shooting straight at Drench when well set.

"It seemed the most dangerous option to take," explained a thoughtful Brown.

Mills completed his treble midway through the second half, rising to bullet home a header from Horan's nod across.  Iain Howard was then introduced and crashed in a fourth for the Seals, but the plasterer is still unlikely to halt Neil Young's perpetual hunt for a left midfielder.

"It's like an obsession," mused Chronicle Bic-Scribbler The Tall Peacock.  "Howard has been superb since day one, but he's spent his whole time here competing with a conveyor-belt of flash-in-the-pan lefties."

Guiseley manager Steve Kittrick was furious with the result, branding his team "spineless" and was frustrated by their lack of "bottle".  Young, conversely, commented that his team had shown "more spine than a giraffe" and was pleased by the presence of bottles in the Blues Bar.

Chester do not play until Saturday now, when they take on Boston at York Street Stadium.  Bookies have stopped taking bets on a Blues victory with Ben Mills first goalscorer.