Friday, 19 October 2012

Chester FC vs Nobody - Free Saturday Quandry

Chester FC face nobody tomorrow, their original fixture having been nixed following intended opponent Corby's progression in FA Cup.

"On the one hand, it's good to have this time off as it allows the injured players time to recover," commented manager Neil Young.  "On the other hand, it means Deva Chat has even less to talk about, so you can expect that to be a hotbed of misjudged opinions and bile for ten days or so."

The break could also lead to another hilarious practical joke by former Blues striker and self-destructive entity Tom Henley.  Henley tweeted yesterday that Matty McGinn had departed the Seals after raging at Neil Young over his omission from the Bradford Park Avenue game on Wednesday. This was very quickly proven to be a false allegation, and merely an attempt by Henley to get his name talked about.  Which is why we've called him Tom Henley instead of using his real name in the reporting of this most bizarre of actions.

Chronicle journalist and Twitter aficionado The Tall Peacock has been left scratching his head over what to do with the free time.  The last time Chester had a free weekend, The Peacock took to reporting on his every day life, to mixed reviews.

"The missus has just put my tea on the table from 30 yards.  Great work from the Petite Peahen," read one Tweet.

"Just realised my wife's not home.  Not sure who brought my tea.  Seeking correction," ran the next.

"Think I might be getting burgled, brb," said a third.

The time off may also result in fans finally realising that Nathan Jarman and Marc Williams aren't remotely similar players.

"It would appear that Chester fans believe there are only two sorts of striker, waffling on about how Williams and Jarman are too similar to play together," mused club boffin Jazz Drummer.  "Either you're a target man, or you're not."

"In reality, Marc and Nathan are entirely different players.  Jarman runs the channels off the shoulder of the last defender, whilst Marc drops short and provides a link between the midfield and forwards.  That's not to say that the club couldn't use another option up front, but it does suggest that our fans just judge our strikers' game based solely on whether they are under or over six feet."

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