Broadcaster and Chester fan Gnarly Hamper will tomorrow host an exciting evening of clapping a variety of former Blues strikers.
Whilst the event is open to all, it is expected that the Senior Blues will turn up in order to lay seige to the hoedown and yap loudly about the fact that they can remember watching Hughie Ryden play.
"It's important that younger folk hear our conversations about the olden days," confirmed James Rhinohide, 129 years of age. "Oh, to go back to those days of Sealand Road, the famous five and pitches that looked like fly-tipping hotspots."
"Of course, that would also mean a return to the cultural norms of footballing violence, casual racism, institutionalised gender discrimination and, latterly, Barry Venison's hair... but that's a price worth paying, surely?"
Along with Ryden, former players Matty McNeil, Gary Talbot and John Thomas will also be on parade. Grenville Millington, an ever-present at these sorts of events, has been caught trying to alter copies of historical CFC book "On the Borderline" to show that he played as a striker, rather than a keeper.
"Grenners couldn't bear the thought of a former players' evening where he wasn't top dog," chuckled Jazz Drummer, author of 'Borderline'. "We caught him tearing pages out of my book, and trying to insert ones that he'd knocked up on his old typewriter."
"I'm not sure how he expected anyone to believe that he'd once ramped home a hat-trick against Barcelona, though."
With Neil Young's squad seemingly still short of an old-fashioned centre forward, the Blues boss is expected to show up on a scouting mission.
"You can learn a lot from watching a man in a suit interviewed in a sports bar," hummed Young. "If Talbs and Hughie can stand up under the pressure, it may be that one of them holds the key to our season."
This event takes place on Friday 26th October which is the eve of CFC’s Think Pink day. Proceeds will be split between the Countess of Chester Breast Cancer Unit and the Former Players Association.
Tickets are £10 and available from the club shop, or by payment on the door.