Thursday, 11 October 2012

The defence needs to rest, Your Honour

Neil Young is scratching his head over the problem presented to him by the fact that Dominic Collins was the only recognised defender to make it through Chester's gruelling FA Cup run unscathed.

With Paul Linwood, Matty McGinn, Wes Baynes and George Horan all picking up knocks, Neil Young is hopeful that new signing Luke Denson can step up.

"We signed Luke years ago, but first he needed international clearance, then he was cup tied, then his mum called him in for tea, then it turned out we needed to sign his registration papers in black ink rather than blue, and then the government told us his selection may present a security risk for the country," explained Young. 

"Fortunately, the league are now satisfied we've jumped through enough hoops and I'm allowed to pick him against Bishop's Stortford."

The Blues gaffer does have reservations as to whether Denson will slot into the side seamlessly.  Having finally received his international clearance, the red tape is out of the way, but this is no guarantee that Denson will be able to deal with the culture shock of his cross-continental move.

"Luke's been playing abroad in the Blue Square Bet North," said Young.  "It remains to be seen whether he can make the switch to the Blue Square Bet North.  It's true that the leagues are similar - identical, some say - but it'll be a test to make that switch."

"Similarly, Luke's going to have to deal with the fact that whilst he used to play his home games in Wales, he's now going to be playing them in pretty much Wales, so that could mess with his head too."

"It makes complete and utter sense that we've had to wait so long and fill out so much paperwork to make this move happen as it's a massive upheaval for the lad.  It's sorted now though, and it's a real victory for the free movement of workers within the EU.  In the past, if you wanted to get a new job just down the road, there just weren't these sorts of provisions in place."

Another option which the manager may wish to pursue is the recall of centre back Michael Taylor from AFC Fylde.

"Wait, was that only a loan deal?," spluttered Young, taken aback.  "Gosh, you might be right actually, that'd be a stroke of luck.  I'll get Gaz Powell on that one right away."

Dave Hankin and Sean Clancy have been providing cover in the full back positions, with Levi Mackin having helped out at centre back.

"We might actually have stumbled on some genius new tactic," mused assistant manager Gary Jones.  "If we hoik Dom Collins off and chuck Ash Williams in there, we can just play with two midfield banks of four and see how that pans out.  Imagine if it turned out that all these years of teams playing with defenders had been for nothing!"

The Jestrian attempted to contact Bishop's Stortford to ask about their expectations for the weekend, but only succeeded in getting hold of member of the clergy Bishop John Stortford.

He was a nice enough man, but he knew nothing about football.

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