Chester FC vs Ashton United - "Match" Report

Chester went top of the league last night, winning 1-0 following a Liam Brownhill wonderstrike.

Nothing else happened.

You would expect in a match report that featured the term "Liam Brownhill wonderstrike" that there would be all kinds of crazy stuff going on, but as the final whistle went, confirming Chester as lead leaders, most fans clapped as wearily as they would have had Chester ground out a 1-1 draw in the Doodson Cup.

Even irrepressible chatter-packet Neil Young couldn't find anything to say about the game, and swerved his post-match interview sending Gary Powell out to face questioning instead.

"He didn't even think the game was worthy of sending Gary Jones, (Young's assistant manager) to speak to you," an apologetic Powell told reporters.

The game featured no flashpoints - not one yellow card was issued, despite Michael Powell completing the full 90 - and most fans were comatose by the 70 minute mark.  Substitute Michael Wilde was clocked doing that thing where you put a Malteaser on your mouth, tilt your head back and blow in order to make it hover, and was visibly irritated when Young asked him to take to the pitch.

"I'd bet Wildey he couldn't hover the Malteaser for three minutes," explained fellow sub Jerome Wright.

"He made it to two minutes, 31 seconds and then Youngy put him on, cutting him short.  He was fuming."

Chester take yet another break from the league on Saturday, as they travel to Stourbridge in the FA Trophy.  Stourbridge are not the same as that Stourport Swifts lot that we played a few years ago, but the first syllable is officially similar.