Kendal Town vs Chester FC - Match Report

Chester didn't take on Kendal Town last night as they continue their assault on the Evo Stik Northern Premier Title.

Following speculation that the game might go ahead, the match finally didn't kick off at 7.45.  Chester weren't missing George Horan, who didn't sit out the first match of a four game suspension, primarily due to the fact that there wasn't one.  Meanwhile, goalkeeper John Danby went another 90 minutes without conceding a goal.

Manager Neil Young had a major selection headache - given that there was no match, Mrs Young gave him the option of either going to the theatre with her mother or staying in and watching Desperate Scousewives on Sky Plus.

"Absolutely dreadful choices.  I haven't seen that Scousewifes thing, but I'd bet it's absolute shrubbery packets," said Neil Young, in a bizarre attempt to coin a new phrase.

"I left her to it and ate a Toblerone instead.  Technically, I'd bought it for Gaz Powell for Christmas, but he never gets me anything, so he can whistle for it.  It was proper tasty."

With no Blues match to follow, many CFC fans turned their attention to the clash of Corby and North Ferriby, knowing that Chester are to face the winner in the first round of the FA Trophy.  Awaiting news of who had emerged victorious was a less-than-thrilling experience for some fans.

"Okay, so we'll play the winner in the next round, but that just means it was a bit like when you ask someone to surprise you when they've asked if you want anything from the low-fat vending machine.  Hardly an exciting wait that one, is it?  You know it's not gonna be a Lion Bar," moaned bored fan Henry Panini-Press.

Eventually, North Ferriby won the match, which means we get to play that lot again and Kendal found a scary shark in their centre circle.