I feel like Chester Tonight, like Chester Tonight

As the frost continues to wreak havoc on the footballing fixture list, Blues officials have moved quick to alleviate the boredom that has set in since the postponed Chorley game.

In order to provide the Exacta faithful with a weekly fix whatever the weather, the club have launched new podcast, named ‘Chester Tonight’.

“It’s definitely different from the Dee 106.3 football show and the Seals Podcast,” revealed suit-toting media personality Armitage Shanks.

“We decided that those shows with their comprehensive interviews and coverage just aren’t enough, and Chester Tonight even lets you pick your own music.  You know, like a less user-friendly Spotify.”
The show will air on Thursday and is available exclusively to Blue$ Player subscribers.  Ironically, the first episode features NATV mastermind Dave Beech, who used to provide his services for free from the goodness of his own heart, and some bloke called Jeremy Jones, who has never been mentioned before but is something to do with Blues Live, apparently.

Also on the bill is The Tall Peacock, an unusually popular local journalist propelled to celebrity status by The Jestrian.

"Obviously if it was on TV, we'd have gone for the Chronicle's Sharks Prowling, so as to attract female viewers," said Shanks.  "But as it's not, we've gone for the Peacock instead, as he has more Twitter followers."

Whilst news of the show has excited some fans, CFU member Regi Groaner was less than impressed.
“I’ll probably save the subscription fee, download an album off iTunes that I can keep and play whenever I want, and listen to Youngy and co saying similar things on the free outlets”.

Since the blank weekend, many club figures arre struggling to find things to occupy their time.
“I’ve backed up my pc and ironed my boxers and socks – what next?!” yelped Christian Smith.

Blues Supremo Neil Young has also complained that he is short of things to do.

“We’ve gone through our Sky+ and watched the Mike Bassett Football Manager boxset,” confirmed Young. "I turned the TV on last night frantically searching for something to occupy my time, but only came across Gary Neville trying to work a gigantic iPad so I took the dog out for another walk.”

"I'm exhausted," complained Young's pet husky.  "I can't keep going for walks just cos the gaffer is bored.  They better have those pitch covers on for Saturday, or I'm gonna bite the stuffing out of Neil's favourite puffer jacket."

The office staff have now run out of tasks and are frantically searching for ways to make the working day go quicker. Barry Hipkiss has confirmed that he spent most of Monday morning ringing future match ball sponsors checking that they were “still cool” with the package they’ve taken out.

“If anyone fancies a pint, give me a bell. But not after eight, yeah?” suggested the Coach Commander.