All in a name

Chester midfielder Michael Powell is set to make a dramatic bid to remain a Seals player as reports suggest that the quiffy beanpole is poised to spectacularly change his name.

Spotting a trend in his manager's selection preferences, the former Southport card-magnet Powell has been spotted enquiring at the deed poll office as to how much it would cost to change his name to Michael Williams.

"Clearly the gaffer is all about the Williams right now," lolloped Powell.  "I'm spying it as my way back into the team."

Indeed, boss Neil Young continues to pack his team with men named Williams - the squad currently containing Ashley, Danny and Marc - and the Head Seal has admitted that this is all part of his long term plan.

"I was a big fan of the Just William books growing up," confirmed Young.  "And I thought, 'wouldn't it be great to manage a football team that was a tribute to Richmal Compton's greatest character?'  So I set to work, with just one vision - Just Williams FC."

"I started with Chris Williams in the first season, but he was having to trek from and to Anglesey every day," recounted Young.  "Given that I needed another ten Williamses at that point, we let him go for a bit.  He'll be back once the target is in sight though, don't you worry about that."

Chief Scout Alex Hay is a key member of the backroom staff, though admits that his job role is a peculiar one.

"Basically, Youngy sends me out on a dual mission every time.  Scope our oppoisition, and bring news of any good players out there called Williams," said Hay.  "Then, when I get back with all this info of how our rivals line up, their set plays and all that, it's like he's not listening - just waiting for me to get to the important bit."

Meanwhile, as Young looks to add to his collection, the Blue Chief has even investigated the availability of pop superstar will.i.am.

"Everyone always thinks of him as the brains behind the song I Gotta Feeling,"  mused Young.  "What they don't know is that he's also a very good left winger, and you can never have too many of them.  Unfortunately he's under contract with the Black Eyed Peas at the moment, but we'll be keeping an eye out.