Blues hunt for new manager

The board of Chester FC have put into motion plans to find a replacement for manager Neil Young, following confirmation from top analysts that the former Colwyn Bay boss is likely to remain at the club for another year at the most.

"With Young turning full time, we predict that he'll be given a crack at the Chelsea job in around 7-10 months," confirmed Dr Jerry Beltloops of the Royal Institute of Trends in Football Management.

"The dismissal of Roberto Di Matteo this morning means that there are only a handful of managers left who haven't tried their hand at the role, and with the rate they get through managers, it's only a matter of time before Young gets his shot."

With the board moved into action by the news, they are less concerned about their players, and remain confident that George Horan will remain at the club for some time to come.

"It seems that you can be centre back and captain of Chelsea and pretty much get away with anything, so we've no worries on that score," confirmed Blues chairman The Pilsbury Doughbeard.

Doughbeard is also satisfied that Chelsea will not need to recruit new fans from Chester.

"Nah, Chelsea fans are in it for the long haul.  You ever seen them defending JT and talking about how great he is?  That must take some will power."

In any case, Blues supporters would be unlikely to be interested, with Chester fans using the occasion as another opportunity to stick the boot into culture of the English Premier League.

"Oooh, I hate the Premier$hip," said one self-satisfied Deva Chatter, smugly switching the "s" in Premiership for a dollar sign, ignorant of the fact that the country's top division has not been called "The Premiership" since 2007.

"I hope Chester start losing soon so I can retain my mis-placed sense of pride in the fact that I support a non-league club.  The day I see my club play in Europe is the day I vomit myself lengthways."