Gloucester City vs Chester FC - Match Base Coat

Following two amateurish performances against Worksop Town, Chester formalise their Sunday League status this weekend, as they travel to Cheltenham in order to play Gloucester.

"We'll be travelling to Bradford to play Bingley next! Am I right?!" chuckled Blues manager Neil Young when asked for his opinion on the club's midweek FA trophy defeat.

Chester have now played twelve games since the departure of Ben Mills, losing two, drawing four and winning six.  One of those victories was in the Cheshire Senior Cup against Cheadle, three were scraped by the odd goal, and if you were to remove the 6-2 thrashing of Stalybridge Celtic from the equation, then you would be guilty of wilfully manipulating statistics to make a point and you ought to be chastised for such a flagrant abuse of the data.  Shame on you.

Gloucester City play at Cheltenham Town's Whaddon Road stadium, which is a venue most memorable for former Chester City board member The Other One stacking a right comedy fall in the away end during the Blues' last visit, in the FA Cup in 2006.

"It was a remarkable bit of slapstick," recounted a misty-eyed club historian Jazz Drummer.  "Later on that evening, it's believed that he also smashed a window with a ladder, and when he turned round to inspect the damage, he smashed another one!"

The hosts are managed by David Mehew, a man whose greatest claim to fame is having a surname that sounds like a cat sneezing.

Meanwhile Cheltenham police are responsible for the decision to move the match to the Sunday, with Cheltenham races taking place on the Saturday.

"Oh, it's just cos it'd be tricky to police both on the same day... y'know... numbers-wise..." mumbled PC Gonmad of the Cheltenham Constabulary, hastily folding away a betting slip.

Blues manager Young admits he knows little of what lies in store for his team.

"I sent chief scout Alex Hay off to check Gloucester out, but he misunderstood the instruction and went on a cheese-tasting session instead," chirruped an exasperated Seals boss. 

"I didn't realise at first.  His scouting report stated that Double Gloucester was harder than Single Gloucester, and I was worried they were going to try and pull some tactic where they field 22 men.  Then I got to the bit about Gloucester being a nice filling in a toastie, and I figured something was amiss.  Nobody wants a Neil Mustoe panini."

A win for Chester could see them back to the top of the table, depending on results elsewhere.  A defeat will see a Deva Chat thread about all the strikers being too similar.