Chester FC vs Worksop Town - Match Twaddle

Chester ensured they remain top of the pile with a hard fought 2-0 over Worksop Town.

For the second home game running, the crowd was stunned by how quickly the grass grew.
 
The Blues best early chance came as Alex Brown was hauled down in a dangerous position. Most of the home crowd missed the incident as they were watching Barry Hipkiss doing his customary lap around the ground, and speculating as to how many games the legendary crack-a-smile coach organiser has actually seen. A club spokesman confirmed that whilst Hipkiss spends a lot of time doing laps of the Exacta, he does “occasionally glance at play”.

The deadlock was broken in the 33rd minute. Robbie Booth, with his worryingly receding hairline, whipped a dangerous delivery in the box which bounced off Michael Powell, who has enough quiff for both he and Booth, and into the net to give Neil Young’s men a lead that was perhaps harsh on the visitors. Powell celebrated near the touchline as coach Gary Powell applied some emergency product to the stand-in skipper's quiff, that had taken some damage in the windy conditions and had noticeably lost some of it’s renowned bounce.

Young himself was losing interest and sent Wilde on much earlier than usual, "just to spice things up". The lovable media-addict gave the Blues an added dimension with some physical front play and the second man up front proved a wise tactical move by the Merseyrail Hardnut. After 72 minutes the lead was doubled after some impressive hold-up play by Old McNeil (the Chester striker rather than a novelty Irish pub) resulted in a lay-off to Powell who made no mistake from close range.

That was just about the end of any footballing action as the remaining twenty minutes turned even more scrappy than the previous seventy. The referee decided to make the affair just a bit more tedious by a issuing a string of silly bookings and taking his sweet time about it. The fussy nature of the official appeared to cause some friction between both sets of players which spilled over into the tunnel after the final whistle, with Worksop keeper Jon Worsnop particularly keen to ensure he is more well-remembered after he departs the Exacta this time, by brawling with Michael Taylor - a man who you just wouldn’t mess with.

The game also saw the launch of a new initiative by the club, as they planted undercover agents around the ground, posing as frail old men in an attempt to gauge whether or not the fan base is really buying into the community ethos. Media gent Jaffa Cakes was known to be beaming after CCTV captured a fake elderly chap, who had conveniently dropped his walking stick at the final whistle, being immediately assisted by a young female, thus proving that we really are the Flanders family of the footballing world.