North Ferriby United vs Chester FC - Likely Postponement Preview

Banned: No more Pop-Up Pirate on the coach,
says Neil Young

Neil Young’s men take a break from Evo Stick action this weekend, as they lay down the kitchen sealant and head to North Ferriby in the next round of the FA Trophy.

Ferriby were dismantled to the tune of six goals at the Exacta Stadium earlier in the season but have improved since then and have proved a tough nut to crack at Grange Lane. The Villagers manager Billy Heath was in an upbeat mood when questioned about how his side will approach the game.

"To be honest, we will try and beat them,” revealed Heath, shockingly.

Neil Young still has skipper George Horan sidelined through suspension and whilst nobody really knows anything about Chris Simm’s injury, Young should have a near full compliment of players to choose from.

“It’s a long trip but the lads are well up for it,” disclosed Young.

"Boredom is an issue on these coach journeys though. Some of the lads play cards, others play games on their phones. I’ve got Chris Pilsbury singing opera on my iPod which should help pass the time, just hope I don’t sing along loudly without realising everyone can hear me.

"Simmo usually does a bit of quilling - he loves it and produces some lovely stuff to be fair. I’ve had to ban Pop-up Pirate though, I’m not having that again.  Almost derailed the season last time, that did.”

Stand in skipper Michael Powell added that should the team win, Christmas songs will be played on the journey home.

“Mistletoe and Wine is a classic, and everyone likes The Darkness Christmas song. Gaz Jones is gonna dress up as Santa too, it’s gonna be a right hoot,” shrieked Powell.

“I’m not doing Christmas cards this year, although I am hoping to get a yellow one at the North Ferriby game in order to have Boxing Day off," added the midfielder.

The FA Trophy never fails to send The Devachat into meltdown with the repeated cries for Wrexham away in the next round, which rate as infinitely less tedious than the politcal debates in the Off-Topic Forum, but well below the standard of the recent and surprisingly interesting threads about space travel.

Popular Chronicle journalist The Tall Peacock, who revealed on the latest Seals Podcast that he sounds nothing like he looks, has confirmed he will be missing the game, with colleague, The Hairy Porcupine standing in on Twitter-duty.

"Oh what's even the point then?!" groaned a disappointed Michael Wilde upon discovering any goal he scores will not be covered in slightly more detail by The Peacock, thirty seconds after the official club Twitter feed first breaks news of the goal.