Thursday, 11 April 2013

Neil Young: Web Splat

Following the Chronicle's "ask a painfully obvious question" web session with Neil Young today, the Jestrian has carried out its own Q&A session with the Blues manager, using questions submitted by you, the fans.  Well, not necessarily "you".  Pretty much definitely not "you", actually.  Read on.


The Jestrian:  Neil, thanks for joining us.

Neil Young:  No worries.

TJ:  Our first question comes from Tommy Floodgates from Blacon, and he wants to know "does it concern you that the Jestrian constantly makes up quotes and attributes them to you, occasionally portaying you as halfway between lunatic and megalomaniac?"

NY:  Not at all, in fact I hope they write an entire feature in which I'm answering questions in that manner.

TJ:  Excellent, thanks Neil.  The next question relates to away games.  Graeme Bouncycastle, an East Stand regular, asks "are you going Guiseley, mate?"

NY:  Yeah, I probably should.  Been all the other awayers this season like, so it'd be a shame to ruin the record right at the end.

TJ:  Nice one, Neil.  Sticking with the theme of away games, Benny Brusselsprouts asks "what is your favourite song to sing with the Garys in the technical area?"

NY:  Ah, there's so many.  That's just something we like to do at away games for the loyal fans.  Seriously, if you've never been an away game, you're well missing out.  Me, Gazza J and Gazza P work hard on our harmonies, and I think our acapella version of Billy Oceans 'For the Longest Time' is pretty tight these days.  Any song that allows Powelly to rip out a mint trumpet solo is always an event, too.

TJ:  Tru dat, yo.  Gerry Handrails asks "what's with the state of the trains on the Chester to Lime Street line?  The seats are a disgrace."

NY:  Not my problem anymore, dog.

TJ:  Thanks, dog.  This one comes from Timmy Halfwit - "Did Jeff Banks sign Lee Trundle without your knowledge?"

NY:  Yep.

TJ:  Cool.  Henrietta Bountybar asks "if we hadn't got that last minute winner at Prescot Cables, would you have quit?"

NY:  No, but I did duck out ten minutes before that happened, if I'm being honest.

TJ:  Completely understandable.  This one comes from Adam J - "how do you sleep at night?"

NY:  Let it go, mate.

TJ:  Safe.  MC Chris Simm asks "can we expect any more MC Neil Young tracks"?

NY:  That's probably a question for you, isn't

TJ:  No idea what you're talking about.  The Michellin Man asks "where's yer puffer gone?"

NY:  I still wear it if I'm going to a posh function or wedding.  Gotta use it sparingly, as you can't find them very easily in shops these days.

TJ:  Strange, that.  The Pirelli Man asks "where's yer puffin gone?"

NY:  Kennels.

TJ:  Obviously.  Yannick Loopyloop asks "what are your plans for next season?"

NY:  Win it by Christmas and spend the rest of the year going round the country in an open-top bus using a mega phone to let everyone know that I'm ace.

TJ:  Sounds good.  Next, from Amy Treeswing - "what areas are you looking to strengthen for next season?"

NY:  Pies, mainly.  And another six left wingers.

TJ:  Predictable. One final question from a 'Mrs Young' - "What do you want for dinner, later?"

NY:  Beans on toast, but with those beans that have the little pork sausages in.

TJ:  Truly disgusting.  Thanks, Neil!

NY:  Cheers, la.

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