Harrogate Town 1-3 Chester FC - Match Squelch

Chester FC remain well top of the Blue Square North after beating Harrogate Town on a day which was grimmer than those 'hilarious' "Keep Calm and..." images that you get twice a day on Facebook.

With Harrogate trialling a new system whereby the pitch is prepared elsewhere, then dropped into an Olympic-sized swimming pool, Blues manager Neil Young was hesitant in his preparations, and suffered a further pre-match blow as midfielder Scott Brown sank into the pitch whilst retrieving a ball from behing the goal.

"We found Scotty again after the match," said a relieved Young.  "He'd burrowed his way out and, excited by the experience, he's going to take up deep-sea diving. Which will leave us short for the Witton game midweek unfortunately."

Following a first half which contained so little football that at points you forgot that you weren't just watching a country fete with overgrown children running about the place, Chester managed to carry a lead into the interval.  Nathan Jarman scored the goal, firing the ball through the goalkeeper's hands.

"I'm still not convinced that was actually the ball," grumped Harrogate keeper Craig MacGillivray.  "I think he just booted a lump of mud past me.  It was hard to tell by that point."

Indeed, the ball was so caked in dirt by the half hour mark that a few flowers had grown in the stitching, causing the referee to stop the game.

"I'll have these for Mother's Day," he enthused.

Tony Gray doubled the lead in the second half with a clever header, to the delight of his manager.

"Did you see the way that the mud stuck to his head?  It looked like hair," mused Young.  "I'm well tryin' dat."

Matty McGinn bundled in a third, before marching off in a strop because it wasn't a crisp left-footed drive, like we've all come to expect from him.

"Wish I'd missed," growled the former Southport man.

A late consolation for Harrogate came courtesy of a Dominic Knowles free kick.

"I let it in, cos I didn't want to get my top dirty," explained Blues keeper John Danby.  "I had it well covered though, ol' Safe Hands over here.  No need to pull an Adam Judge on me for the run-in, Youngy."

The Blues now await their Senior Cup tie at home to Witton, during which it is expected to snow.  Then not snow.  Then snow again.  Then not snow.  Then snow.  And then stop.  You get the pattern.