Friday, 8 March 2013

Harrogate Town vs Chester FC - Match Jaunt

Chester FC travel to Harrogate tomorrow for one of those Yorkshire-based games they sometimes have to play.

The Blues go into the game following a wave of controversy caused when club director Brill Quiff derided Chester fans who didn't show up to Chester's Cheshire Cup Quarter Final with Tranmere on Monday. Angry Seals fans have turned on the director, justifying their non-attendance by stating that they just "don't care about the competition".

"How dare he criticise my commitment to the club?! I didn't attend because I couldn't have cared less that we were playing," raved a hurt Loyal Blue off of the Deva Chats.

Meanwhile, Marketing Degrees have been torn up and new syllabuses drafted as experts gravitate towards marketing director Quiff's ingenious model.

"It turns out that the best way to get people to buy your product is to call them out for not buying it," said one of those London Media Types that you get. "I've just drafted a new slogan actually - "if you don't buy Fairy, then I have no respect for you as a human being" - PR by shame. It's the future, man."

Meanwhile, Chester are top of the league by a long way, but apparently we're more interested in what director thinks what about the attendances.

"That's the image that club officials are asking me to put out there," mused a confused Chronicle journotron The Tall Peacock. "It's like in school when you get your mate to tell a girl you like her. Except in this context, "you" is the club, my column inches are the "mate" and "you like her" is just ill-advised comments that you wish they'd keep to themselves."

Harrogate have played at a whole bunch of different grounds this season, but manager Simon Weaver insists that this is not a ploy to trick Chester into turning up at the wrong place.

"No this match is definitely at Plymouth's stadium," he said, shiftily.

Harrogate have had to play four games in eight days, a workload envied by Halifax, whose season is yet to start.

A win for Chester will please Blues fans but appal Brill Quiff unless it's by four or more.

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