Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Neil Young admits to Lewis Turner prank

After weeks of pretending that there's a Lewis Turner, Blues manager Neil Young has finally admitted the whole thing was a joke which "got out of hand".

Following the impressive performances of Leeds youngster Nathan Turner, Young joked that the midfielder was playing so well that he might even sign his identical twin brother.  When journalists failed to pick up on the joke, the Chief Seal was forced to plough ahead with the concept.

"I didn't want it to look like I'd made a joke which had bombed, so I called up Nathan and asked him if he'd be willing to pretend to be his own brother for a press release," confessed Young.  "We did a few pictures and got a few quotes off him, and it all went swimmingly at first."

The ploy also had the effect of making it look like the former Colwyn Bay manager had pulled off a spectacular coup by bringing in two loanees from a Championship club.

"No-one was impressed that I'd secured one Leeds player," bemoaned Young.  "As soon as I'd brought in a second, everyone started giving me props.  It felt nice."

However, as the weeks have worn on with no sign of Lewis Turner getting any pitch time, Young has been forced to admit that the player doesn't actually exist.

"We even considered trying to play Nathan as Lewis in a couple of matches in order to keep the illusion going, but it's difficult to register someone who isn't real with the league," explained the Blue Boss.  "I had a look into how expensive it would be to forge a birth certificate and whip up a National Insurance number, but I was told we couldn't do that because of the club's financial situation."

"I bet I'd have got away with it in the first year," he added with a grimace.

Nathan Turner himself is said to be glad that the chirade is over.

"I was having to pretend to be Lewis at training some days," he explained. "Youngy was desperate to save face.  He asked me to come up with a character for Lewis - some traits that differ from Nathan.  I decided that Lewis would be a coffee drinker, even though I hate coffee.  Dreadful move on my part, it makes me feel sick and I've got too much energy in the evenings."

"Still, the alternative is going back to Neil Warnock at Leeds, so I've just stuck it out to be honest."

In other news, Ben Mills has hurt his knee, but Young hasn't ruled out the possibility of mysterious new striker Melvyn Mills making a debut against Harrogate at the weekend.

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