Friday, 2 December 2011

Chester FC vs Worksop Town - Match Pre-Mortem

Chester return to Evo Stick North action tomorrow as they entertain Worksop Town at the Exacta Stadium.

The in-form Tigers lie in mid-table and are spearheaded by manager Martin McIntosh who took over from the man with the best name in non-league, Peter Rinkcavage, in 2010.  Whilst Rinkcavage's reign wasn't particularly remarkable, we'll take any chance to name-check the guy.

Notable former Worksop players include Spurs legend Chris Waddle - one of the finest players of his generation who played in one of the most successful England teams of recent times, and Leo Bertos.

Former Chester City goalkeeper Jon Worsnop is set to take his place in goal for The Tigers and is a new man these days, having recovered from the psychological damage wrought by getting shouted at by Paul Carden whenever he fumbled a cross.

“Cardy had a problem with me but did you see me attack him for annoyingly booting the ball out of play every time we kicked off?” argued a not-at-all bitter Worsnop.

Worsnop's name also looks a bit like the name of the team he plays for, which is fun.

Worksop currently boast striker Massiah McDonald amongst their ranks and journalists The Tall Peacock and Tennis Ball have reportedly become increasingly excited as the week has drawn on.  Rumours have emerged today that the pair have offered a bribe to the match referee, asking that he sends McDonald off so they can use the headline ‘he’s not the Massiah, he’s a very naughty boy’.

Young will have to plan for the absence of skipper George Horan who unsurprisingly faces a four match ban for that silly sending off in that silly cup competition. Michael Powell will have to be uncharacteristically cautious as he sits only two bookings away from suspension, meaning that in two games time it’s more than likely that he will induce a suspension. Powell has been asked to get any frustration out of his system by instead committing fouls against club staff rather than the opposition and was recently pretend cautioned by Neil Young for a tug on Barrie Hipkiss’s tie, and penalised for a cynical challenge on Volunteer Co-ordinator Carol Bennett.  As she lay face-down on the tarmac of the Exacta car park, Powell sprinting off into the sunset, Bennett was heard to mutter "gotta take one for the team, I s'pose."

The Blues have fully stocked the club shop in anticipation of doing a roaring Christmas trade, and are hoping that business will be swift with tomorrow’s match likely to be the last home game before Santa arrives. New in stock are Chester FC cuff links, that you’d never be allowed to wear in any respectable office, and even if you were, you’d be mercilessly ribbed by colleagues. You can also get your hands on a trendy beanie hat, which no doubt will be modelled by Michael Wilde at some stage if it hasn’t happened already.

'Buy a Player as a Gift' is another initiative being promoted by the club, although a club spokesman was quick to dismiss fears that Joe Ormrod could spring out of a box in your living room on Christmas Day, confirming that it is indeed just a sponsorship opportunity

No comments:

Post a Comment