Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Fans unwittingly "exiled"

After resolutions passed overwhelmingly by both the Chester FC Exiles and The City Fans United, the Exiles are now fully part of The CFU.  This means that all members of The City Fans United who live away from the immediate Chester area are automatically also members of the Exiles, leading to irritation from certain sections of support.

"I only want to be a member of The CFU," grumbled Essex-based Teddy Whippersnapper.

"I don't play darts, so I'm not sure what benefit there is to me in being a member of the Exiles.  What other clubs am I being signed up to against my will?  If I find myself in the gardening club, The WA, the Conservative Party or that club for people who like a lot of chocolate on their biscuit, I am going to be an angry young man."

The Chester FC Exiles is a group of fans who didn't care enough about their club to stay in the area, then gave themselves a name like they're Syrian dissidents or something.  Their main roles include harbouring a sense of entitlement that allows them to declare Ebbsfleet away in the FA Trophy as a 'great draw' whilst bemoaning the difficulties of getting a ticket for a Boxing Day game in the hyper-regional seventh tier of English football.

"Our main vision is for Chester to play their home games in London," admitted Exiles spokesperson Barry George.

"It should be as easy for us in the South to follow our local football club as it is for those who are local to the football club."

As part of its responsibility to the community, The Jestrian recently approached the government, lobbying them to allow Chester's non-Cheshire based fans back into the city, but it was discovered that they've actually chosen to live elsewhere, and there's nothing stopping them from returning.

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