“This is John Danby”
John Danby caused panic recently following a blanket e-mail he sent to members of The City Fans United, advertising his personal trainer business. Confusion was rife amongst recipients who were nonplussed by Danby’s had failure to add the suffix ‘with the Blues’, which is customarily tagged onto every club or offer that disseminates from The City Fans United. Sammy Spellcheck of C Block was the first to voice his fears;
“I was interested in doing a few stretches with Danby but I only join clubs that are ‘with the Blues’. Anything else baffles me.”
The shot-stopper has now revealed that despite a clear marketing campaign towards Chester fans, it is also aimed towards normal society.
“If you want a personalised session we could name it whatever you like, though. Call me,” added Danby.
The official website yesterday broke the exciting news that, following minutes of tense negotiations, Chester FC have brokered a deal with Liverpool to stage LFC’s reserve clash against fierce rivals Manchester United Reserves. The game is expected to attract a large crowd, as Liverpool and United fans, who usually make tired excuses about not being able to get a ticket to watch their ‘beloved’ teams, will get the chance to watch potential stars of the future and possibly Paul Scholes. It also presents an opportunity for the club’s Official Attention Seeker, Army Tanks, to grab mobile numbers of bemused famous people.
“Colin hasn’t been in touch for a little while - the wife reckons we’re not sending the Murrays a Christmas card next year. What’s the next step up from Colin? Sammy Lee? Stephane Henchoz? Is he still at Liverpool? Imagine texting Henchoz...,” dreamed a misty-eyed Tanks.
The Chorley bird catches the worm
This season’s away fixture at Chorley has been confirmed as a 1pm kick off, in order to avoid the sort of madness that marred Chester’s 1-0 success last year. Lancashire Police are confident that lunatics who hurl bricks about and set upon innocent supporters will be deterred by the two hour time difference.
“Nobody throws bricks at that time of the day. People are less angry then because its lunchtime, for goodness’ sake. Don’t throw things, have a sandwich instead,” urged PC Brick.