Friday, 20 January 2012

Chester FC vs Hednesford Town - Pressure Preview

Chester welcome title-hopefuls Hednesford FC to the Exacta tomorrow, in a game that neither manager is backing their side to win.

Despite having beaten the pace-setting Blues twice already this season, Hednesford boss Rob "Eeyore" Smith has continually commented that his team won't win the league.

"The pressure's on Chester.  We'll never acheive anything.  And even if we do, what's the point?  Football is such a futile game.  A bunch of guys haring round some grass kicking a synthetic pig's bladder?  And these guys have to have second jobs as well.  Why do we even bother?  I could have been a doctor," lamented the pessimistic Smith.

Chester manager Neil Young has joined in the self-deprication-fest by insinuating that the pressure is entirely on the shoulders of the Hednesford players.

"We go into the game as underdogs, given that we're top of the league," insisted Young.

"All the expectation is on Hednesford to win.  No-one expects us to win - we didn't get to the top of the league by being a team that wins more of its games than it doesn't.  Actually, we might have.  Oh snot-rags, there is actually a bit of pressure on us for this one isn't there?!"

The interview was cut short by Young panicking and throwing himself through the nearest window.  Fortunately, the window was on the ground floor and his injuries were superficial.

And Young can at least afford to buy a few plasters and a little can of antiseptic spray, as he and Gary Jones have now signed new contracts to keep them at the club.  Negotiations for the deals seemed to take forever, but this was apparently less to do with disagreements over terms, and more to do with Neil Young's inability to stop talking.

"We spent most of the time listening to a lecture Neil had prepared on sedimentary rocks," said a visibly exhausted CEO The Pet Husky.

Meanwhile, despite the feeble mind-games, scientists at the Royal Institute of Makin' Stuff Up have confirmed that tomorrow's game is a big clash between two teams who could well win the league and both should be expecting to do well and doing their utmost to win.

Should the game be abandoned due to weather conditions, Witton Albion have offered to stage the encounter instead.

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