Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Master of Witton Repartee

Following on from the Boxing Day Love-in, where Witton Albion opened their social club to Chester fans, who had travelled to watch their team's away game at Northwich, the Wincham club have now sought to take the relationship to the next level, offering £2 off for anyone who turns up for their game against Prescot Cables on Wednesday 1st February with a Chester FC programme.  Ironically, any Witton fan who turns up wanting a programme for the actual match being played will be charged extra.

"We're seeking to forge a good relationship with Chester," said The Lark of Paris, Witton's acting Chairman.
"We're also putting on a Park and Ride facility from Witton to Ebbsfleet for all Blues fans wanting to make the trip.  Furthermore, if all goes to plan, we'll soon be beaming a live, 3D projection of all Chester home games onto the Wincham Park turf for fans who can't get to the Exacta.  This might mean that we have to play our own home games on Friday nights, but it's worth it."

It has also been confirmed that Wincham Park will play host to the birthday celebrations of Chester FC's Official Focal Point, Jar Jar Banks, later this year.

"Someone said Colin Murray might show up," confessed the Lark.

Whilst some have seen these moves by Witton as harmless attempts to strengthen relations and make some cash-money, others suspect a far more sinister plot is afoot.
"The Chron won't let me print it, but I've heard rumblings that it's all part of a plot by Witton to steal Chester's fan-base in order launch an assault on the Cheshire Senior Cup in 2018/9," said journalist The Tall Peacock, in a thinly-veiled attempt to get himself a bit of publicity.

"A few CFC fans have a harmless drink at Wincham Park, or innocently watch a discounted match, then BAM!  Suddenly they're hooked.  Next thing you know, the Exacta's empty and Wincham Park is a sea of Blue.  Exercise caution, that's all I'm saying."

Witton have received even more PR from other football clubs of late, though some of this has been inadvertent.  Recently, on a programme on MUTV, Manchester United midfielder Park Ji-Sun asked a presenter how you would rescue people stuck in a ravine, to which the response was delivered "winch 'em, Park."

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