Thursday 19 January 2012

Focus!

After the narrow defeat to Ebbsfleet last weekend, the relief amongst staff and supporters has been evident as everyone can now “concentrate on winning the league”.

“The gaffer was keen to overload the attack in the last ten minutes on Saturday to snatch an equaliser, but I had to restrain him and remind him that we need to concentrate on the league,” revealed assistant Gary Jones.

The habitual saying has spread throughout the club and is now being used as a silver lining for a variety of problems that have since occurred.

With the Blues all set to host a prestigious reserve clash between Liverpool and Man United on Monday, the weather intervened and the game was postponed.

“It shouldn’t have been arranged in the first place; our football pitch is not for playing on. We need to think about the league,” muttered Commercial Manager Paul Bodman.

Tuesday’s First Aid course was next to fall. Volunteer guru The Barrelled Ferret explained “there’ll be no life saving skills here whilst there’s an EvoStik title up for grabs, good grief.  NO DISTRACTIONS!”

Further to this, Honorary Life President Barry Hipkiss was left fuming at Wednesday lunchtime, when his wife Pam declined the Tour Bus virtuoso's request that she deliver to him a cheese and pickle sandwich. When quizzed by concerned friends, Mrs Hipkiss confirmed that she was afraid of the effect that such a delivery could have on Chester’s title challenge.

“You try getting through the working day on one of Cluskey’s Irn Bru bars,” retorted a disgruntled Barry.

Meanwhile, Neil Young has been in hot water with Merseyrail, after he refused to send engineers to fix a broken-down down train, choosing instead to prioritise his side's push for promotion.

Elsewhere in Chester FC circles, journalist The Tall Peacock was rendered silent yesterday as his sole source of information Wikipedia had a cheeky shut-down for the day.  The Peacock was later found by colleagues, trying to boot up Encarta 97 on his laptop, as his next best option.

"He'd gone a bit crazy, so we let him go home," said un-sung Chronicle pin-up boy Sharks Prowling.

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