Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Close Encounters

Neil Young today laid bare his masochistic plan to make this season's title race even more nail-biting than last year's.

Having given away something approaching a mathematical certainty of a lead to win Evo-Stik Division One North by a margin of two goals, Young declared that this season, he hopes to sail even closer to the wind.

"It was a bit boring in the end, we won it with bags of space.  If we can do it by just the one goal this time, I'll be delighted.  Maybe even on goals scored, actually.  We're quite good at them," said the Blues supremo, having only been asked about Chester's injury situation.

"I proper enjoyed milking those few minutes after the final whistle at Garforth - everyone was looking at the Puffa Prince for confirmation that we'd won it.  I've never felt so important.  I want that rush again."

Young then conceded that he hadn't double-checked the Evo-Stik Premier rules, but admitted "if we can win it on alphabetical order, that'd be even better.  The paperwork is already in place to change our name to Aalborg FC should Bradford PA launch a late assault on the top spot.  We’d best make sure those pesky Danish investors don’t catch wind of that plan though.  They’d be all over it."

Blues CEO The Pet Husky backs Young's attempts to instill some drama to proceedings and openly admitted to The Jestrian that he'd also done his part to help out. 

"Northwich's points deduction for using blue ink on Tom Field's registration was a real blow to us, but it gave us an idea", he barked.

"We're expecting the League to contact us for a copy of Levi Mackin's Ethiopian passport any day now."

In further preparations for the last game of the season, with Hednesford emerging as the team most likely to take it down to the wire, attentions have been turned to their final-day opponents Worksop Town for the potential identity of this year's Chester FC legend.  Tigers front-man Jamie Jackson has been installed as early favourite and is rumoured to be clearing his diary for Chester's end-of-season awards dinner where he'll collect the Dan Toronczak Memorial Jug.

"He'll be leaving his wallet at home," Jackson's agent confirmed.

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