Chester FC face a Jestrian match preview tomorrow as they look forward to facing Bishop's Stortford at the weekend, and manager Neil Young is keen that his team come through the test with flying colours.
"I've got my observations pre-prepared and I'm ready to provide some catchy soundbites," confirmed Young. "As per usual, I've got loads to say and some quotes are going to have to be left out in favour of the stronger ideas. It's tough making those calls, as all the words want to be getting said regularly but it's what I'm paid to do."
Indeed, Young has now spoken for over an hour in his pre-match press conference for 57 games in a row, and the Blue Chief will be looking to continue the run tomorrow.
"We've not had a midweek game, so the vocal cords are fresh and hopefully we'll be good to go," nodded The King of The Seals. "There's always the danger that they may be a little slow getting going, but I'll do the right preparation - have some lemon and honey."
The piece will then move on to discuss any ongoings at the club this week.
"There've been a few ins and outs, so there should be plenty of competetion for places in this middle bit of the article," confirmed The Jestrian.
At this point, Chester's opponents will be considered, with the fact that they have a funny name likely to be the prime source of material.
"They made a pun on my name before our last game, so hopefully I'm safe this time," wished manager Rod Stringer.
With such subjects out of the way, The Jestrian is then expected to continue its promotion of Chester Chronicle journalists as micro-celebrities, with underdog Sharks Prowling carrying out his usual exercise of hoping that it might be one of those rare articles where he takes primacy over colleague The Tall Peacock. It is unknown how those musings will conclude, though early rumours suggest that a trusty cryptic implication that Dan Burns off of the Seals Podcast is the Jestrian may be due to make an appearance.
The preview will then be rounded off with a last line that says something about what will happen if Chester win, with any Deva Chat hysteria likely to be referenced here.