Friday, 14 December 2012

Chester FC vs Bishop's Stortford - Match Suggest

Chester take on Bishop's Stortford tomorrow as they now coast towards the title.

The game could still be at risk if the pitch doesn't stand up to the recent freeze, and manager Neil Young knows only too well what can go wrong in such situations.

"A few weeks ago I ate a Vienetta straight out of the freezer," recounted a haunted Young.  "Cracked one of my teeth right good and got a wicked brain-freeze.  The missus came downstairs to find me rolling on the floor clutching my dome.  Not dignified, I can tell you."

With Sean Clancy and Luke Denson out of the door this week, Young is rumoured to be lining up more departures, and has refused to deny rumours that the decision as to who will leave the club is to be made with recourse to a half-time game of Giant Jenga.

"That's just an option at this stage," murmured the Big Blue Cheese.  "We're also trying to source a Twister mat."

Bishop's Stortford face a lengthy trip north from Hertfordshire, having managed to find a company which illictly provides huskies for transport across the UK.  The town is known as the home of BBC Radio 1 DJ Greg James, a fact which was of little interest to CFU media boffin Jaffa Cakes.

"Come back when you've got Colin Murray," smirked Cakes, clutching his 'I heart Fighting Talk' mug.

Meanwhile, Chronicle journotron The Tall Peacock is now right back in the swing of things.

"He's the journalistic equivalent of Ben Mills," commented Young.  "Ok, he was away for a bit, but there's only so long you can keep him sidelined before you get him back in the action.  The tweets that he brings to the table are first rate."

Also on the media side of things, the fifth issue of fanzine The Blue and White is now out, and editors The Bellamy Brothers are expected to take drastic action in order to get sales.

"We've received intelligence that a hostile gang has planned the kidnap of all official programme sellers, in order to take the prime selling spots for themselves," confirmed PC Repair of the Chester Constabulary.

A win for Chester will mean that they retain a startling record of only having dropped five points all season.  But it still won't stop Deva Chatters starting threads about how we're playing the wrong formation or the wrong tactics.

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