Thursday, 6 December 2012

Sign 'em up

Chester fans will be enjoying a super special Christmas this year as the club has arranged a signing session in the Blues Bar, so that thoughtful gifters can get players to write on the presents they plan to give.

Taking advantage of a society which rather peculiarly values the defacing of clothing, so long as the grafitti is the work of someone who people might know, Blues players will congregate in the bar to scrawl all over shirts and other merchandise.  Antoni Sarcevic, having been burned earlier in the week, is thought to be reluctant in his attendance.

Meanwhile, other Seals are thought to be smarting over reports that Ben Mills will have his own stall, signing his "let's all do the Milbot" t-shirt.

"I've been here since day one, why don't I have a shirt?", grumbled captain George Horan.  "Just because I don't have a novelty celebration, there's plenty of slogans you could use with a picture of me...  "Being 100% fit is for wusses"... "You say 'striker', I say 'climbing frame"... "Witton away was proper boss"... there's gold in there."

The event is attracting a lot of buzz from fans, but also from the wider community.

"I had Ian Howard do some plastering round my house," explained Graham Pummicestone from Upton, who knows nothing about football.  "He got it all done, proper smooth, so I'm gonna get him to sign a brick for me."

It has also been confirmed that kitman Jimmy Soul will be in attendance, signing copies of his best-selling autobiography "My Journey So Far".

"I'd recommend it as a great stocking filler," advised Blues manager Neil Young.  "It's a real rollercoaster ride.  I don't want to give out any spoilers or anything, but his anecdote about the time he had to open a new packet of socks because he'd only packed one of George's stockings is heart-wrenching to say the least."

Attendees will also be able to sip mulled wine thanks to Bar Manager Raving Larry.  This would be a novelty at most clubs, but then most clubs don't sell Rosé in the refreshment stalls at home matches.

And with good reason.

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