Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Neil Young is Queen of Chester FC

New chairman of The City Fans United, Phoney Gherkin, has confirmed that Neil Young is "basically Chester FC's version of the Queen."

In the week that the Queen was invited into a cabinet meeting at Westminster, it has been reported that Neil Young will similarly sit in on board meetings.

"We figured that if the Queen is going to be in on the government of her country, why shouldn't Youngy have a say on pies and stuff?", confirmed Gherkin, who also announced that, in order to mark the occasion, the Blues Boss has been presented with 60 Chester City coasters which were leftover stock from the old club shop.

The decision to allow Young into the boardroom had sparked major discontent amongst Seals fans earlier in the week, after Gherkin's initial statement made it sound as though the manager was going to be made a director.

"Er... nah... that woulda been stupid, wouldn't it?", spluttered Gherkin.  "Never the plan, that.  Honest."

The board do, however, have more decisions to make on this subject.  Part of Antartica is to be named Queen Elizabeth Land after the reigning monarch, and insiders have suggested that Young is holding out for this kind of treatment too.

"At the moment, the most likely solution is to name a block of four seats in the West Stand 'Neil Young Land'," confirmed TCFU media addict Jitter Bugs.  "Neil has other ideas, though.  He wants an actual Youngy Land - a Neil-based theme park built in the corner of the car park.  Says Merseyrail are willing to donate a ghost train, and everything."

Meanwhile, with Young now having spent almost three years at the club, preparations have started for his Leather Jubilee in 2013.

"We're gonna take him down to the Dee and let him wave from the Mark Twain Showboat," nodded Bugs.

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