Thursday, 22 November 2012

Basket cases

Chester FC and Basketball's Cheshire Phoenix (formerly Cheshire Jets) have announced a link up, as Neil Young resorts to desperate measures in order to get some height into his forward line.

The two outfits will become "supporting partners", a phrase which will see Chester FC chairman The Pilsbury Doughbeard wearing a Cheshire Phoenix scarf and shouting "alley-oop!" whenever the football team score a goal.

Furthermore, in games played at the Deva, teams will now register three goals for every strike netted from outside the 18 yard box.

"Like Sarce needs any encouragement," sighed coach Gary Powell.

Meanwhile, The Phoenix will take on elements on the football club, with "Northgate Arena Chat" to be set up in order to allow fans to spout overly dramatic opinions and whinge that they wish that Bradley Barnes was still playing as point guard.

The whole affair appears, however, to be a massive misunderstanding sparked by CFU media chap and chief plane botherer Jaffa Cakes.

"I heard about the 'Save the Jets' campaign and I thought it was something to do with keeping the Vulcan Bomber in the sky," admitted Cakes.  "I emptied out the CFU bank account before realising it was a basketball thing.  Covered my tracks nicely with this link-up idea though."

Amongst those involved in saving the Jetty Phonenix-types from extinction is local business man Andrew Donaldduck, who once managed Chester FC in a pre-season friendly.

"I'm hoping to do the same with The Phoenix.  Always fancied doing that 'time-out' gesture you get and leading the huddle," raved Donaldduck. 

The new look basketball outfit is expected to run for two years on a feel-good factor, before its third season when politics will take over again, and you'll get people in charge sneaking about on the internet with fake names trying to discredit their colleagues.

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