Chester FC joined the public in celebrating the failure of old-fashioned terrorist Guy Fawkes last night by having a Bonfire knees-up down the Exacta Stadium.
Manager Neil Young had excitedly arranged the night, but was forced to hastily buy some pyrotechnics at the last minute after discovering that Wes Baynes's right foot is not literally a rocket.
"I thought it was," grieved Young, shaking his head. "You see people talking about it so much, I just figured I could spark up his right trainer as the big finish."
"It was a nightmare trying to find something to replace it. Pet Husky [Chester CEO] offered the streamer cannons from the end of last season, which made me chuckle, but it was a serious problem for a while."
"There were no fireworks in the shop, so in the end, we just dressed someone as a ref, made them make a bad decision in front of Gary Jones and watched him lose his head. Close enough, like."
Meanwhile, midfielder Michael Powell got himself into hot water with his manager once again. The Gangly Quiffer was sent home from the party for failing to heed Young's instructions that all attendees must wear gloves when using sparklers.
"I turned my back for one minute, and there's Powelly, bare-handed, writing his name in the air with a sparkly wand," sighed the Chester manager. "He's a great lad, but he lets himself down all too often. It's a bad example to set - I had to ask him to leave."
There was also an awkward moment as the squad very nearly threw chief scout Alex Hay on the bonfire instead of the tailor-made Fawkes effigy.
"I'm rarely around when Chester are playing, 'cos I'm off watching other teams. The lads don't see me that often," explained the relieved talent-noticer. "I had a nap in the corner, you see. The boys saw someone they didn't recognise slumped in the corner with the word "Hay" written across his top, and just assumed that I was the straw-man to be thrown on the the flames."
"That's the story they've told me, anyway. It checks out though, right? Right?"
The occasion has taken its toll on Young's squad with Iain Howard and Dom Collins doubtful for the Cheadle clash tomorrow, having eaten too many toasted marshmellows and John Danby may not make the game either, after Martin Fearon sneakily tossed the number one's gloves into the bonfire.