Friday, 30 November 2012

Chester FC vs Worcester City - Match Negotiate

Chester FC welcome Worcester City to the Exacta Stadium tomorrow, as they seek to remain top of the tree.

Neil Young has suffered a slight blip in preparation, with chief scout Alex Hay once getting the wrong end of the stick when given his orders.

"Alex has been checking out Worcester Sauce instead of Worcester City," sighed Young.  "I've been planning for the fearsome strikeforce of Lea & Perrins all week."

And Young has a striker situation of his own to resolve.

"I think two games is enough for me to make my point about Ben Mills having to work his way back into the team, so I can probably play him tomorrow," admitted Young.  "It's a bit like when there's one bit of pizza left - you've gotta go through the whole rigmarole of pretending you're happy for your friend to have it before you gleefully pick it up and demolish it yourself."

"It's just social etiquette, but I think Ben has spent the requisite amount of time on the bench now."

Chester go into the game with the farcical CFU elections finally over.  With new faces on board, old ones wave goodbye, with Devachat head honcho Dumbell Lift tipped to be sorely missed.

"I've given all I can to the club," said Lift.  "Now it's time to concentrate on my personal life - spend a bit of time with some Irn Bru, see what's next."

Lift was a great advocate of the "one person, one vote" system, cleverly defeated by three of the new board members, each of whom figured they had the right to tell everyone who to vote for.  Incumbent chairman Pilsbury Doughbeard steered clear of such tactics, right up until the vote was announced, at which point he took it upon himself to tell everyone who they should have voted for instead.  So that should make things nice and awkward in the boardroom.

On the pitch, Chester have still only dropped five points in the league - a remarkable feat according to AWOL journalist the Tall Peacock.

"The performances against Histon and Corby alone ought to have dropped six points between them, so goodness knows how the record is as it is," mused the Peacock, cradling his newborn Peachick.

Young is keen to continue the record, this week calling in a philosopher to assess the old adage "you can't win them all".

"It turns out that 'winning them all' is entirely within the spectrum of possibility," revealed Young.  "Apparently it's bizarre that anyone would operate on the assumption that you can't.  I got this philosophy guy in and he said that you don't tend to win them all, but that it's entirely plausible as a concept.  So there's something we've learnt."

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