Friday, 7 September 2012

Chester FC vs Guiseley AFC - Match Probable

Chester take on Guiseley AFC tomorrow, with both teams having taken maximum points from their first six games.

Guiseley is in Leeds, apparently, but this is not easily verified as no-one has ever been there and most people are completely unaware of its existence. Indeed, recent surveys show that 78% of Brits presume Guiseley to be a cuddly bear from a children's book, with a further 6% believing it to be a method of cooking lamb.

John Danby remains doubtful for the Blues, having scratched his own eye whilst trying to prove to his team-mates that it's impossible to scratch your own eye. Meanwhile, Robbie Booth returns from a back injury but may have to kick Dave Hankin's legs off if he wants to displace the impressive right winger from the starting line up.

The Guiseley squad features Rhys Meynell, who once played for Chester City, except that he didn't because all CCFC's matches were stricken from the record when the old club withdrew from the Conference.

"I'm not sure what's real anymore," whimpered Meynell. "I could be sure I'd played in those games."
Guiseley also have a prominent women's team, but have confirmed they will be sending the men to the Exacta.

Chester manager Neil Young is still playing his cards close to his chest regarding any attempt to permanently sign top scoring loanee Ben Mills. Frustrated by Young's lethargy, Macclesfield boss Steve King has started using the techniques of a second-hand car salesman in an attempt to force the hand of the Blues chief.

"Ooh, I've had lots of interest about Ben," dangled King. "There was a nice couple came in earlier, and they were very keen on him - they went off for coffee to think about it. They'll be back though, you might have to act fast."

In spite of these tricks, Young is staying focused on the game at hand.

"It'll be a tough test, no doubt," admitted The King of The Seals. "We'll have to be at our best, but I've told the lads that if we pull it off, I'll take 'em all out for a beer and a nice Lamb Guiseley."

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