Thursday, 20 September 2012

When "Full Time" is just the beginning...

Neil Young is on the verge of becoming Chester FC's full-time manager, reports the Chester Chronicle after Deva Chat reported it first.

Many were seen glancing up at the night sky in search of a Blue Moon last night, as posters on the genius-hive of a message board finally reported a rumour with some credibility, forcing the club to confirm that Young has arranged to take a sabbatical from his day job with Merseyrail.

"Chester fans love to believe they know something the rest of you don't," confirmed Dr Gerry Ratchethead from the Royal Institute of Bragging Rights.  "Obviously, if Neil Young had already become full time, that would have been reported, but someone got a sniff of the fact that it might be happening and splashed it everywhere so that they'd get a shiny medal, or hat, or something."

"Earlier in the season, you had lads reporting that director Bust Fuse had definitely quit and that Adam Proudlock had failed to show up to training, but this time they managed to at least get vaguely close to the truth, and that's good enough for Deva Chat."

The move to full-time by Young could have wide-reaching implications, including the outside possibility that if he makes it big time, MC Youngy could go viral in about 15 years.

"Obviously we'll need him to pick up some extra duties if he's going full-time," indicated media king and CFU director Jaffa Cakes, who has yet to pick up even a part-time wage for his full-time position at the club.  "He'll be taking a couple of shifts in the Blues Bar and mucking out Lupus's living quarters - the sort of stuff that just needs doing."

Merseyrail have been very accommodating in agreeing to the decision, though admitted they had some reservations at first.

"When Neil came to us and said he wanted to be a full-time football manager, we had a giggle at first.  We thought it was like his 'I want to be an astronaut' speech of a couple of years ago," said Merseyrail superboss Calvin Trains. 

"Then it turned out it was an actual deal he'd been offered.  We had to let him have a go.  He used to run our work five-a-side and it was clear that the lad had potential, the way he used to book that Sports Hall."

There have been no rumblings as to whether Young's backroom staff will also be upgrading their status, leading to fears that the Blues boss may taunt his colleagues by waving his payslip around on the last Friday of every month.

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