Thursday, 27 September 2012

Mail Merge

Jestrian HQ was rocked this week as reactionary bilge-rag The Daily Mail published an article highlighting the gaping flaws in the Football League Interactive website template, as used by Chester FC and 80-odd other unfortunate football clubs.  This represents a staggering editorial overlap with The Jestrian, which has been tediously banging on about how dreadful an operation FLi is for over a year now.

"We heard reports that at half ten on Tuesday, the Daily Mail website had uploaded an article pointing out how rubbish the FLi platform is," confirmed a crumpled Jestrian.  "So yeah, we're now basically doing the same kind of shtick as Daily Mail.  I feel sick.  I suppose we should have seen it coming.  After all, The Jestrian has always been committed to reporting complete fiction and exaggerating ridiculous opinions in order to provoke our readers, so I guess its always been quite similar to the Mail in many ways."

According to the Mail piece, FLi have faced a wholesale backlash from the clubs which use it, each of whom have been forced to send their media officers back to their fans with lines such as "we're all in the same boat", "it'll be boss when it works properly" and "no, I don't know what Little Mix's latest single has to do with our club either".

Given that anything published by The Daily Mail must be ignored for the good of the country, The Jestrian is now considering a change in stance and throwing its full support behind the official website.

"Obviously I'd rather have fleas than ever see that 'enter website' pop-up again, but if we criticise the official web-space, we're basically implying that there's some validity to a Daily Mail article," continued The Jestrian.  "That can't be allowed to happen."

"Of course, on the plus side, if we're nice about the official website, we might return to those days when Banksy and the club used to big up the blog on Twitter.  Those were happier times for us all, weren't they?"

The Jestrian then went on to dismiss suggestions that yesterday's postponed match forced the blog to ditch a match report in favour of self-indulgent rambling.

Chester are now due to travel to Stalybridge on Saturday, but unconfirmed early reports suggest that Bower Fold has been washed away and was last seen beached on a housing estate somewhere near Hyde.

No comments:

Post a Comment