Wednesday, 19 September 2012

The Name Gain

Public debate rages as Certain Chester fans continue to clamour for the restoration of the word "City" to the team's name, for no apparent reason.

"City" was only added to the old club's moniker in 1983, before which everyone got on just fine without it.

The old Chester FC witnessed the season where five Chester strikers each scored twenty goals.  It also witnessed the exciting promotion campaign of 1974-75 and many famous cup runs.  Chester City presided over the demolition of Sealand Road, several incompetent chairman and the ultimate demise of the club.

"It's basically like lobbying Coco Pops to change their name back to Choco Krispies. It isn't what they were called originally, and when they were called that, it was rubbish," explained Dr Vincent Convenient from the Royal Institute of Cereal History in Gloucester.

However, some fans are concerned the absence of the alliterative second word may lead to people not realising that Chester is a city.

"Heard some Halifax jokers talking about Chester town centre the other week," recounted a haunted fan Harry Lancelot. "Horrifying."

On the flipside, some fans who do not wish to see the old name restored have even objected to any chants involving the word "city", but we couldn't find a quote from anyone who could explain why.

Green activists have backed the current name, indicating that the amount of ink that has been wasted by including the word "City" on teamsheets and in newspapers over the years is enough to be able to keep a medium-sized squid entertained for three and a half years.

"In fact, any place with only one team shouldn't have a second name at all," said campaigner Phoenix Amazon, because they've all got names like that. "We wholeheartedly support the name Chester FC. Change it and we'll burn your ground down in protest. Cos that's a green thing to do."

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