Thursday, 3 November 2011

Bradford PA 2-1 Chester FC - Disaster Report

Chester crashed to defeat for the first time in 14 games last night, annoying all fans who expected the league to be a cake-walk.

As Chester descended on the Bradford Park Avenue's Horsfall Stadium, so named because it looks like a horse fell on it, it was clear that the evening would be a rancid affair.  Neil Young had the luxury of being able to name the starting eleven that we'd all plump for, and the players repaid him by missing a string of chances that Geoffrey Boycott's mum probably could have put away with a stick of rhubarb in her pinny, or something.

With the score at 0-0, Chris Simm used his newly cast-free wrist to full effect, as he sarcastically applauded a refereeing decision, earning himself a good booking.

And when, to the dismay of Mrs Boycott, Robbie Booth smashed a sitter over the bar, Bradford PA grew tired of Chester's ineptitude and chose to score a goal, just to liven things up a bit.  It was Richard Marshall who slipped the ball past John Danby, who having secured the club record for the most consecutive games without conceding, now appears to be experimenting with how many games he can go without keeping a clean sheet.

Having gone in 1-0 down, Chester started the second half well, Robbie Booth scoring a nice goal, and George Horan sporting a manly-looking bandage on his head.

Normal service was resumed moments later when Simm mis-hit a volley and as the strikers continued to misfire, Neil Young opted to change the front two with fifteen minutes to go, introducing Mike Wilde and Jamie Rainford.  Increasingly-hard-to-defend Rainford, who has regularly been urged to take a leaf out of Simm's book, subsequently obliged by hitting a similarly limp volley wide of the post.

Loads happened in the last couple of minutes, but the upshot of it all is that Bradford PA scored another goal and Chester lost.

As the final whistle went on a 2-1 defeat, Young was left fuming over his side's missed chances;

"If I wanted strikers who were consistently wide of the mark, I'd have signed Daily Mail columnist Richard Littlejohn," said the manager.

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