Friday, 18 November 2011

Chester FC vs Matlock Town FC - Match Sniff

Chester make a welcome return to the Exacta Stadium on Saturday as they face Matlock Town FC.

Skipper George Horan is expected to play, after he was dismissed in the recent Nonsense Cup game at Hednesford.  Earlier in the week, Chester Chronicle reporter The Tall Peacock tweeted that Neil Young anticipates that Horan will miss four games, starting with the away trip to Kendal on the 29th.

“He tells me all kinds of things,” beamed The Peacock.

“I’m privy to the sort of information that the rest of you can only dream of. Me and Youngy are well tight.”

According to recent surveys, The Tall Peacock has now displaced long time favourites Real Turnips and Tennis Ball as the fans’ media personality of choice, with his tech-savvy reporting, tactical cosying up to Neil Young and his match day tweet-battle with the official club Twitter feed for who can report line-ups and goals first.

Matlock will be a stiff test as they lie in sixth place in the league, and the Gladiators have plenty of firepower with Ian Holmes who has nine goals to his name for the season.

“They’ve got plenty of options.  Rhino has been dangerous over the years, Trojan just never stops and Saracen is also a real threat.  We all know about Wolf too – the lad is tall, aggressive and is rarely beaten on the rings,” warned Young, clearly confused about the Gladiators nickname.

Reports that John Fashanu will turn up to shout “Awooga” for no apparent reason, at arbitrary points during the game, are as yet unconfirmed.

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