Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Deva Chat is really stupid

Steadily declining unofficial fans forum The DevaChat has finally crossed under the line between "bit of a joke" and "plain ridiculous" on the Stupid Spectrum, say scientists at the Royal Institute of Making Up Spectrums.
"It was teetering on the edge for some time," said Dr Edwin Cauliflowers.
"But this week, it's finally taken the plunge."
Factors involved in The DevaChat's tumble include tedious threads about politics, posters mentioning their personal lives in threads which don't warrant it and a run of tiresome puns about Matty McNeil being a postman, which was duplicated less than a month later.
"Posters seem to love to derail threads with a series of tenuous and awful puns," commented Dr Edwin Swedes.
"The fact is, the only funny pun about McNeil being a postie is that he's a good striker, cos that really annoys the postmen on The DevaChat.  And there's loads of them on there.  Probably because they're on strike."
With the situation at near-boiling point, things finally tipped over into the Plain Ridiculous Threshold as fans went scouring Jamie Rainford's Facebook page, not just to see if he'd made derogatory comments about CFC, but also to rag on his taste in music and books.
"They picked up on the fact that he had Justin Bieber as one of his favourite musicians," relayed Dr Edwin Butternuts.
"I think if you're that obsessed with taking shots at an individual, maybe you have issues?  Someone posted a video of a top goal Rainford scored for Halifax, but most people only watched it to see whether or not he had a tinge of regret in his eyes."
Meanwhile, certain fans have been criticised for posting negative and speculative comments.
"Our little soliders should only be given praise," said super-fan Heston Flashdance.
"Positive reinforcement, they call it in schools.  Okay, The DevaChat is an unofficial message board for fans to discuss the club, but what if players log on looking for feedback on their performance and it's not 100% glowing tributes?  That can mess a child up for life you know.  I bet Neil Young will be giving everyone a Participation Trophy at the end of the season, regardless of whether we win the league."
It has been suggested by the CFC Anti-Free Speech Movement that the following topics should be outlawed:
  • Players who are playing badly
  • Players who are playing well (in case the players who aren't mentioned get upset)
  • Wages
  • Players who may be leaving the club
  • Neil Young's lack of hair
  • Michael Powell's quiff (in case Neil Young is jealous)
  • Your preferred starting XI (imagine how you'd feel logging on to find you didn't make chesterboi's first team)
It has also been suggested that if you like to meet up with your friends for a drink after the game, you should keep it to yourself.  But that one is fair enough.

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