Chester return to action tonight to face Ashton United at the Exacta, buoyed by Saturday’s rout of Matlock Town.
“We’ve beaten them twice already this season. At least, I think it was them? Anything to do with Ashton baffles me,” groaned Young.
“There's so many Ashton teams. I’m hoping the wife isn’t getting suspicious. She’s asked me about all the Ashton games and the many Ashton scouting missions I attend. There's an unrealistic amount of them, she doesn't believe it's all football-related, even though it's the truth.
"I've started trying to come up with more believable excuses. I think I got away with it when I said I was simply weighing up a return for Neil Ashton but maybe I was pushing my luck when I said I was going to Gary Powell’s for an Ashton Kutcher movie marathon night. Me and Powelly do love 'Dude, Where's My Car?', though.”
Young’s squad has looked increasingly healthy over the last couple of weeks with injured players returning and some new arrivals boosting the numbers.
“It’s hard to get in the team these days,” conceded Iain Howard.
“I’ll play anywhere, but everyone is playing well at the moment that if anyone does anything wrong then they're out. I think Neil overheard me and Smiggs ripping him about his over-sized puffer jacket at training last week, then we turn up on Saturday and we’re both on the Judi Dench. Bit harsh, that. Can’t he take a joke?”
When questioned about how he picks the team, Young confirmed that it’s mainly down to form and fitness. The Blues supremo also confirmed that players jobs can also affect selection, and that his puffer jacket “is big, but designed purely for warmth.”
“It’s really snuggly,” growled Young as he strode angrily towards his car, staring at the ground.
A win for Chester will take them top, and looks increasingly likely now that the players aren't continually spannering easy chances wide of the target anymore. Some have even started claiming goals that probably didn't go in.
"My goal on Saturday was definitely over the line," said Luke Holden, and Luke Holden alone.
In other team news, Kyle Wilson is not expected to start, having left at the end of last season.