Chester 3-0 Conwy Borough - Match Gathered

Chester ran out 3-0 winners over Conwy Borough last night in a game most notable for revealing that Conwy is a borough, apparently.

Chester shot into the lead as young striker Reece Norton slyly crouched down in front of an unsuspecting Conwy goalkeeper who, failing to see him, belted the ball at the forward before watching it loop into the vacant net.

"Classic," cackled Norton, made up with his slick practical joke.

Meanwhile Chronicle ink-twirler The Tall Peacock was announcing via Twitter that, as well as the emerging Norton, manager Neil Young was looking at bringing in a striker from outside, but that this player would first require a work permit.

"A work permit for a semi-pro?!", scoffed fan Frinton Tincan, pouring light on the fact that it's far more likely that the player in question is waiting on his P45 or something.

Martin Fearon saved a first half Conwy penalty to stop the hosts pulling level.  In spite of this, it is still unclear whether Fearon is to be Chester's second choice goalkeeper or whether he has merely replaced Adam Judge as third choice shot-stopper behind John Danby and "whoever we can get on loan at short notice".

The Blues took until midway through the second half to double their advantage, when Dave Hankin slotted home from a Marc Williams pass.  Hankin has impressed with his stylish play on the pitch and also by keeping his Twitter profile private so that the Many Sherlocks of Devachat are unable to draw wild conclusions from disparate messages sent to his friends.

Iain Howard completed the scoring from the penalty spot, after usual spot-kicker Matty McGinn had gone off with a groin injury.

"These pre-season games are all about wearing the players out, so that we run headlong into the season with a skeleton squad," revealed Young.

Young now hopes that his side are ready for their first game in the Blue Square North, away at Oxford City.

"It'll be nice for the Exiles this one, as we all know how impossible it is for them to make it anywhere above Birmingham," mused Young.

"Of course, for the rest of us, it's a right pain-in-the-train.  Blue Square NORTH, yeah?  Clue is in the question, geniuses.  Jog on, Oxford."