Friday, 17 August 2012

Oxford City vs Chester FC - Southern Preview

Chester FC start their season tomorrow by travelling to Oxford City, a team perhaps best known for not being Oxford United.

The City won promotion to the Blue Square North last season by winning the Southern League Play-Offs.  This is a nonsensical statement, and yet somehow it manages to be true.

"If a team from the South plays in the North and no-one bothers to go to their away games, are they still from the South?" mused philosophy student Jacques Penser, who we interviewed for no good reason.

Chester chief Neil Young has managed to add striker Ben Mills to his squad, but admits the move almost broke down when Mills suspected foul play.

"He thought we were playing a prank on him, trying to make him drive to some team down the wrong end of the country," chuckled Young.  "To be honest, none of us are absolutely sure that it's not one big practical joke by league officials, but we'll pop along anyway - see what's what."

Oxford United fans have been spotted online sneering at the idea of the Blues taking a substantial following to their neighbours' gaff, and this mirth is perhaps based on the poor Chester away followings taken to the Kassam Stadium in years gone by.  However, these fans should perhaps take into account that Chester have since undergone a revival and - more importantly - remember that you have to re-mortgage your house to get in at the Kassam, and not everyone has a house.

Neil Young will be hoping that Chester can record their first points of the season quickly, knowing full well that defeat will lead to accusations of the Blues boss being out of his depth.

"Boy am I looking forward to that annual ritual," enthused The Blue Supremo.

The start of the season has been overshadowed by the ongoing fiasco over the decision to slash prices for the home clash with Workington AFC.  Season Ticket Holders were initially offered five pounds off Chester's new home shirt but complained that they wanted something they could take advantage of sooner than that.  As such, when it comes time to renew their Season Ticket twelve months from now, they will be offered an early bird discount.

"Upon reflection, we thought it was fairer to ask the fans to wait twelve months and pick up the early bird offer rather than expecting them to wait six years for the new shirts to be delivered," said CFU media consort Jaffa Cakes.

When quizzed on the continued absence of the replica shirts, Cakes mumbled something about a puma having eaten them, following an administrative error.

Kick off is at 3pm, with Michael Powell's first booking of the season scheduled shortly after.

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