Wednesday, 8 August 2012

Chester FC 1-1 Fleetwood Town But Not Joey Barton FC - Match Reminisce

Blues fans were left fuming last night as visitors Fleetwood Town sent a second string side to the Exacta Stadium for a match which culminated in a 1-1 draw.

No Chester fan actually knows what Fleetwood's first XI looks like,but alarm bells started to ring when it emerged that Joey Barton wouldn't be taking to the pitch.

Indeed, far from their best side, the League Two outfit only fielded a few fringe players, the old boy from their post room, a butcher, a baker, a candlestick wholesaler and some bloke they met on the train on the way down.

This went entirely unrecognised by Blues fans until someone checked the Twitter feed of Chronicle word-wizard The Tall Peacock, who had indicated that Fleetwood had made 11 changes to the side that drew 3-3against Tranmere on Saturday, sparking a mini riot in D Block.

"I've paid good money to watch this pre-season friendly and I'm deeply upset that Fleetwood have taken it as an opportunity to try the kids out.  They must have a League Cup campaign starting in a couple of weeks - that's the ideal opportunity to give the squad members a chance," moaned Gerald Huffington of Vicar's Cross.

"I was intrigued to see how our triallists would get on, and then Fleetwood go and put out a team of unproven players?  Patently unfair."

On the field, former Chester man Alex Titchiner scored the opening goal and, in doing so, added his name to the list of strikers that Blues fans have decided they want back.

"I don't LIKE new things!" croaked West Stand stalwart Eldred Dufflebag.  "Why do we need new strikers?  Malkin and Spink were fine.  Why do they have to keep changing it?!"

With time running out, Chester's Sean Clancy struck an equaliser past his former employers.  It is widely acknowledged, however, that Clancy will have to score several more goals before it becomes ok that he was part of that Desperate Scousewives monstrosity.

"Scripted 'reality' shows are the worst abuse of the medium of television yet," explained Dr Gertrude Facts from the University of Things That Are Definitely True and Don't Even Try To Argue (Plymouth Campus).

The final whistle eventually came and, honestly, no-one is sure quite what we're supposed to be learning from all these games anymore.

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