Wednesday, 3 October 2012

Chester FC 2-1 Gainsborough Trinity - Match Odyssey

Chester FC almost guaranteed themselves a place in the FA Cup final last night, by ruthlessly dispatching Gainsborough Trinity, after Extra Time, in a replay.

Chester have only 13 more rounds to safely negotiate following their 2-1 victory, the first of which will be a straightforward game against Halifax, who the Blues comfortably saw off at the Exacta a few weeks ago, if you're committed to the mis-use of the word "comfortably".

Dominic Collins scored his first goal for the club by cunningly smashing a shot home via the shins of a Gainsborough defender.

"It's all about the angles," nodded Collins, sagely.  "I'm a whizz when it comes to calculating the right deflection.  'Ol' Dommy Protractor', they used to call me."

Chester looked to have held out to win the game in 90 minutes, but anguish rippled through the Exacta as The Recreationists substitute Jamie Yates smashed home a late, late equaliser.

"I was pretty happy as my new contract states that I get paid time-and-a-half for Extra Time," admitted Blues manager Neil Young.  "Incidentally, is it just me, or does 'The Recreationists' sound more like an early 90s Madchester band than the nickname of a football club?"

As the game spilled into Extra Time, some people inexplicably left, damaging further the sub-par crowd which was in attendance.  Fans stayed away from Chester FC's first ever home FA Cup tie for a variety of superb reasons, including 'ooh, but it's windy' and 'Manchester United are on TV'.

"Still don't understand why we're not making a profit," grumbled die-hard Blues fan Gerry Armchair whilst vapidly watching as Robin Van Persie netted his second.

It took until the second period of Extra Time for Chester to restore their lead, Levi Mackin crashing a first-time, left-footed strike beyond Gainsborough 'keeper Jan Budtz.  It was one of those great FA Cup moments that will undoubtedly feature alongside that Ronnie Radford goal in the montages that will be played once the Premier League teams come in and rip the heart out of the competition by scarcely taking it seriously - some by fielding weakened sides, others simply by being Liverpool.

The next round is already causing consternation amongst some Chester fans, with the West Stand handed to Halifax for the evening, to the furious upset of the regular frequenters of the Exacta's own version of a Virgin Pendolino Quiet Carriage.

"There's probably a way around it," admitted CFU media doll Jaffa Cakes.  "But, to be honest, it's important that we take any chance we get to needle people who are going to be that prissy about where they sit."

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