Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Chester fans wear non-attendance as a badge of honour

Following the re-arrangement of Chester FC's Cheshire Senior Cup Quarter Final clash with Tranmere, it has emerged that large sections of Blues support intend to swerve the tie, in a move of mis-placed self-satisfaction.

Originally set for Prenton Park, the contest has been switched and will now be staged at the Exacta Stadium on Monday 4th March.  This has disappointed pockets of Seals supporters who were looking forward to the trip to Birkenhead, but are now less enchanted by the derby with some stating their intention to do something else instead.

"It's unusual," confirmed Dr Barry Hulahoop of the Royal Institute of Oddly Constructed Superiority Complexes.  "Not the non-attendance of minor cup games.  That's understandable in these financial climes.  Even being less interested by yet another home tie than by a rare away trip to Football League territory makes perfect sense.  But have a look at Deva Chat.  It's like their decision to stay away is an achievement."

Indeed, a brief look at the internet's number one brain emporium shows that a startling number of fans have taken the re-arrangement personally.

"Well, I'd have gone to Tranmere, but you can forget me traipsing ALL the way down to the Deva," raged Bumpers Lane Blue.  "You think I haven't got better things to do than watch the football team that I support?  Well I have.  And I want you to know."

"How crazy am I?!  I would have gone to an away game, but not a home one!", yodelled I'm Dead Quirky Me Blue.  "That doesn't make sense does it, lol?.  'Cos usually, right, usually, a home game is a more attractive affair, but on this occasion, I'D HAVE PREFERRED IT TO BE AWAY!!!! LOL!!!"

"I only wanted to go and wave fivers at Quasi-Scousers in Quasi-Trackies," admitted Snarly Blue.  "Senior Cup?  A chance for my team to win silverware?  Not for me, ta.  Because I'm cooler than you."

(This echoes the opinions of several other Chester fans, who apparently consider trying to win trophies a pointless excercise, leaving the question "what exactly IS the point of football, then?")

"Why can't there be more London-based Cheshire Cup matches?!", howled One of Them Exiles Blues.

"I'm saving my money for Corby, Workington and Harrogate instead, because I'm a proper supporter," scoffed Travelling Blue, none of whose money winds up in Chester's coffers.

It remains to be seen whether the board of The City Fans United have learnt their lesson in trying to put on football matches.

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