Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Get your name on stuff

Chester FC this week launched their "Make a Stand" raffle, which will allow two lucky fans to see their name either side of the Harry McNally Terrace sign on the North Stand.

"Basically, you pay a fiver, and you could be up there with Harry," explained CFU media mouth Jitter Bugs.  "A little harsh on Harry maybe, who had to devote years of his life to helping our beloved club punch above its weight during one of its many bleak periods in order to get his name up there... but he'll still be in the middle, so it's probably ok."

It is currently estimated that current manager Neil Young has bought 50% of all tickets sold thus far.

"If I can get two Neil Youngs up there to one Harry McNally, they'll have to rename the terrace 'Youngy's Party Shack' won't they?", smirked the King Seal.

Should the raffle turn out to be a success, the club are expected to launch similar initiatives to boost the coffers. 

"We're thinking maybe a raffle to get your name on the squad listings in the programme, so that people can clamour for you to play alongside Perry Groves and Pat Nevin last game of the season," brainstormed Bugs.  "Other ideas include raffling the right to sign your name on Youngy's face in marker pen, and auctioning off Ben Mills's identity so that he has to play a full season under the name of the highest bidder."

However, most fans merely wish to earn the right to rename the Legends' Lounge, following confirmation that the term "legend" has now been fully misappropriated by Jack Wills-toting teenagers who also saw fit to alter the meaning of the word "banter" so that it now relates to boorish, witless abuse.

"It also sounds a bit elitist, the 'Legends' Lounge'," mused superfan Gary Bowandcurtsey.  "I'd like to rename it 'Corporate Henry's Swanky Wine Hut'.  Yeah, I'd pay a fiver for that."

Meanwhile, no-one is willing to put money towards the chance to rename the Blues Bar, as who knows where that donation will end up?

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